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Forums / General Discussions / Why do people kill themselves over marriage?!?!
Why do people kill themselves over marriage?!?!
16 Nov 2008, 7:44 pm
wa sallam dear
excenellent blog! i feeel the same way..but then again patiencs is the key!! may allah perserve us all and make us firm in sabir!
PS: alot of people are rushing into marriage becuse they are avoiding the dating system and having hard time LOWERING their gaze and so they belive marriage will help them lower gaze! which is true but then again patience dear ones! ALlah has a great plan for us all!
fi aminallah
16 Nov 2008, 8:34 pm
salèm alaikom
bèraka allahou fik for this!!!!
you're complitely right ,
16 Nov 2008, 10:20 pm
Wa 'alaikom Assalaam,
It is the reproductive instinct that triggers people like us to think about it too much. I read somewhere that the average american man thinks about sex 200 times a day which is really normal since people are single.
Obviously, people with low sex drive don't think much about it.
Also, there's georaphical influence. People (especially men) who live in the west place a greater emphasis on marriage because they are bombarded with waaaaaaaaaaaaaay more temptation (fitna) than ppl in the Arab world like you.
Another thing is females think about sex less than men do and they masturbate significantly less than men do (98% for men vs. less than 70% for women).
Also, some people hit maturity faster, so they find it difficult to live like teens because they physiology is more developed, so they share the feelings of those in mid 20s and early 30s.
All these factors combined make us think too much about it.
16 Nov 2008, 11:19 pm
16 Nov 2008, 11:21 pm
Ababran Abdhul Quarnain
17 Nov 2008, 12:09 am
200 times a DAY????!!!
NO offense but that is such a silly urban myth about men!!!
Maybe guys who sit and watch porn all day think about sex that much
but Iwould suggest that most men think more about money(or lack thereof)
and avoiding havin the lates blunder at work blamed on them
Anabran Abdhul Quarnain
17 Nov 2008, 12:14 am
No, I'm saying that 98% of men in USA masturbate.
17 Nov 2008, 1:25 am
waalaikum salaam warahmatullah..
even i cant wait to get married oops
but i do enjoy every single moment i have (single life) Alhamdulillah.. just do positive things, think positive, being freinds with peoples who respect and being with u just the way u r.. about married asap or not, as long as being single not lead u to haram thing like zina, firlting, dating, etc. i think its ok if u decide ur not married quick cause maybe ur not find ur better half yet. Alhamdulillah i can taking care my self so far and really grateful Allah protect me always Alhamdulillah.
note : read my blog also guys http://spaces.muxlim.com/siecantik/blog/34712/importance-of-marriage-in-islam
17 Nov 2008, 2:12 am
That 200 thing equals to every 12 minutes.....that seems a bit much but I dunno....everyone's different....but if its on someone's mind like that then yea, maybe marriage is called for ASAP.
17 Nov 2008, 2:21 am
i heard and read the research that male think about sex every 7 seconds.
17 Nov 2008, 3:20 am
Sure, if your qisma comes along, khair get married but I'm referring to individuals who don't find a spouse as fast as they think they should and start worrying and biting their finger nails
17 Nov 2008, 4:37 am
Farouq...I wasn't expecting to take this thread in this direction and I didn't have this in mind when I began it but I don't think all of your information is consistent. I do agree with what you said about geographical influence. But about Arabs like you? I live in the satanic states of american man, and besides fitna is spreading like wild fire in the arab world as well. My dad was watching a debate about the causes behind homosexuality in Saudi Arabia, a MUSLIM nation. Astagfirallah. Also, I don't think there is a strict correlation between being physiologically or mentally developed and what you described as one's reproductive instinct. We are not animals. And I'm wondering where you came up with your statistics about the males and females?
17 Nov 2008, 4:47 am
Agreed with sis!
Islamically you are encouraged to get married as soon as you can, so why you complain about something lawful...
besides if brothers and sisters started being straight forward with each other and got married as soon as 'they liked each other', then we would not have so many 'blog's about the topic.
BROTHERS, THE SISTERS THAT YOU ARE TRYING TO CONVINCE INTO MARRIAGE WILL MOST LIKELY MARRY YOU BUT THEY NEVER SAY IT STRAIGHT THAT YEAH COME AND PROPOSE SO THEY WRITE THESE LONG AND BORING BLOGS/POSTS ETC CAUSE THEY ARE TOO SHY TO SAY IT OUT LOUD.
I am married so no confusion about the post, I am just letting brothers know (those who are still trying to figure how female mind works) that they should make a move instead of too much chit chat and etc.
17 Nov 2008, 4:48 am
lol//..very true!
17 Nov 2008, 4:55 am
I hate to break it for you but sexual temptation and marriage do not usually go hand in hand in the west. Since like you mentioned the male sexual drive is harder there is a "surplus of lust" on the male side so more often than not the women get to pick their partner which I don't mind since I can hold my own on the market ;).
17 Nov 2008, 2:36 pm
Well said bro, I agree. Yet there are many people, especially sisters who are willing but no one is coming to knock on the front door. These are the people that I devoted this thread too...
18 Nov 2008, 2:19 am
MashaAllah! Couldn't say it better brother!You took the words right out of my mouth!!
By the way,I don't wanna marry because of the sex only,but to have somebody to practice islam with! Hard to practice islam alone as convert.And in a non muslim country as well.
Have to have highh iman to manage it...I don't have many muslim friends here either to meet and discuss with so I am very lonely.In the mosque I go to I am almost frozen out cause i am not arab,only a few talk to me.
18 Nov 2008, 2:23 am
